Tis the Season

Winter bliss is here and much snow has been taken advantage of between snowshoeing, inclining and snowboarding. I have spent some good time with friends, enjoying good meals (it was brought to my attention that I make friends with great cooks! It works out quite well for me), fun movies and great books.

I just started a new job yesterday and it's always a huge step for me to try new things. Yet, I still manage to step into the change and survive, and even grow! Imagine, God teaching me new things through hardship. Can anyone relate? Ha! I am a survivor and I will continue to do so and maybe even find some fun in the process.

I'm growing up with a full time, five days a week job that includes good benefits! Crazy and I still have my humor, so I can't grow up too much, eh?

Crossroads

I made it back to Colorado Springs. After spending months waiting for this day to come, I am now having a hard time being back. I finally feel like I've been able to plant my feet and do my job with a bit of confidence. I'm stepping away from great people, lovely outdoor adventures, incredible mentors, and a wonderful working environment. I'm stepping into two huge exams, good friends, a new internship and hopefully graduation. So many changes.

I have been craving business cards, as they represent for me a bit of permanency. I know I am still in a season of transition and hopefully soon I will land a job and can settle in. I thought maybe a good graduation present for me would be a black lab with a red collar named Lucky. We'll see though.

I'm trying to just be in the state of transition right now, feeling all the emotions that come with the loss of saying good-bye and the hope of seeing what's ahead.

Up-date

Georgetown has been a once-in-a-lifetime experience for sure. From mountain biking, rafting, and rock climbing with friend, M, to sweat lodges with students, it has been busy. I have been studying a bit in between and the breaks have been good. It's been fun having friends come into town to visit as well. It's strange to think that this experience is almost over. I will head back to C. Springs the end of this month and start internship #3 on Sept. 2nd. I'll have one day to breathe, yea! My life is random and good.

Perspective in work

"Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off; don't frustrate God's work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we're doing. Our work as God's servants gets validated-or not-in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly. . .in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure hearts, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all. I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively! 2 Corinthians 6: 2-15 (The Message)

This passage is encouraging to me and reminds me to "reframe" all the craziness that is going on in my life right now. Living 'openly and expansively' is not always convenient or easy, and it is good. I just wanted to share. . .

Gestalt and Dreams

Rarely do I remember my dreams and last night was one of them. Vehicles were meant to be driven on roads. However, in my dream I was driving on a walking path in the middle of Acacia Park. (This is very interesting because I don't even like it when people ride bicycles on sidewalks.) Another unusual trait was that someone was having a yard sale in the middle of the park. I was driving around clothes and trees until I came upon the girl hosting the sale in the middle of the path. She was sitting, pricing and enjoying the event along with others. She wouldn't move and I was mad at her, while respecting her unwillingness to back down to me. I ended up backing up, leaving the park and rejoining the road I belonged on. As I've been reading a lot about Gestalt therapy, which does a lot of dream work, I decided to try it on myself. It was very interesting as I actually discovered a few key things about myself, too personal to share on a public blog. It's not about interpreting the dream, it's about experiencing the dream from different view points. At first I looked at it from the cars perspective, then the path's perspective. If you are a therapist, I sound sane, if not then I'm sure I come across crazy. Pieces of both are true. Ha!

Yea for fun times with good friend!

Footprints in the Sand. . .Colorado Style

I always expect analogies from God while in His nature. As I went for a solo snowshoe outing over spring break, I was asking God where my analogy was. A few minutes later I saw to sets of footprints (snowshoe tracks) in the snow. I tried to capture it in my first picture, which unfortunately did not turn out. It reminded me of the poem, "Footprints in the Sand" and I laughed. Of course, CO style is more like "Snowshoes in the Snow" and I could visualize God walking along side me. At times I would have a conversation with him and other times it was comfortable silence. It was fun having him along on my hike.
The last two pictures were attempts of being artsy with a self portrait and foot shot! All taken for your viewing enjoyment, ha!

Little Easter Bunny

It's so easy to get caught up in routine. My sister sent me this picture, reminding me that Easter is here. I have been practicing lent over the past few years (thanks A!) yet I need to take time and reflect on the basis of my belief, the foundation in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The meanings and insight that can come from one cute baby picture in ears!

Creative uses for old things

Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. Like an old, worn-out canoe being turned into a rich place for plants to grow. It once floated students and staff all over Dog Lake and now, it sits allowing others to gaze upon its vibrant beauty. I feel a bit like the canoe. I have been working with students for years. Now, the package looks a bit different. I am in unfamiliar turf as my venue is the school, not the church. I keep repeating vs like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. . ." Right now I feel very vulnerable and at the same time know I am doing what I am passionate about. I need to not be longing for the exploration upon Dog Lake, just enjoying holding the beauty of flowers.

the view through new eyes

As a black and white thinker, this morning I was pondering the thought of seeing the world through new eye . . . gray. What possibilities would be open that I have yet to see. A good friend gave me a precious gift, in a book. Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. wrote a book called, "My Grandfather's Blessings". In it she states, "Most of us encounter a great deal more Mystery than we are willing to experience. Sometimes knowing life requires us to suspend disbelief, to recognize that all our hard-won knowledge may only be provisional and the world may be quite different than we believe it to be. This can be very stressful, even frightening. But if we are not willing to wonder, we may have to hang up the phone on life."



I wonder how much Mystery I have yet to discover due to my narrow vision. The possibilities may be frightful or beautiful. I enjoy pondering, wondering, question asking and self-exploration. All of these create a modge podge of anxiety and growth, creating the very essence of life. Oh the beauty in complexity continues. . .

Flying with broken wings

Tomorrow will be my last day of class (minus the two I need to make up this summer) and practicum has been a good and hard situation. I've learned more about myself than my clients. I've also discovered that I have a lot of internal work to do in order to be the best counselor I can be. It'll take time and I am a work in progress. That's expected with me being new, and I have great supervisors. (Thanks, L!) I've seen huge progress between last weekend and this weekend. I decided to quit beating myself up and start celebrating little successes. I feel like I am soaring with broken wings. I am choosing to just be in these moments instead of fretting over the future and what that looks like. I am learning how to be a good counselor.

What goes around. . .

I had a crazy weekend of class and as I have been trying to help clients, I am learning more about myself. Many things to work on and will with time. I know I will be a better counselor the healthier I am. I am thankful for great friends who are willing to stick by me through the ugliness.

It's fun meeting the next Stewart generation. It's so strange to be holding a blood relative. I can't wait to get her into her first snowshoes, climbing harness and cliff jumping experience. Yea for firsts!

Happy New Year!

From snowshoeing in Breckenridge, snowboarding in Vail and hiking the New Year in at Eagle Lake with multiple friends, 2008 has started out great! I'm learning to enjoy the moments. Much change has taken place and will continue to do so. That is all part of life and if change is not occurring than chances are that I am not breathing on this earth! Making the most of each moment and being present in them is my new goal for this season of life. I am so thankful for good friends, health, and memorable moments in the great outdoors to start this year right. Blessings on you all!

Fun, thriving friends

It's so fun to hang out with others that make you laugh and just be silly. Most of my embarrassing moments have been while performing karaoke. Therefore, I have since decided to stop singing and start interpretive dancing. I know, it sounds much more risky, yet with reckless abandon, it is freeing, funny and entertaining to say the least. I think deep down in my heart, I've always wanted to be an interpretive dancer. Who knows what opportunities the future will provide. . .

Fun friends at Jack Quinn's!