Family and Olive Leaves

I'm an aunt to Emery Rose Stewart. She's a cutie for sure! Just wanted to share my joy with you! She has a full head of hair, I think that's the Stewart side. :)

I went out to see my family mid-November and brought "trouble" with me, thanks to a friend. We all decided to do fake tattoos and laughed a lot through the process. My aunt gave me a book to read, "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. I've just started it and believe it to be a good read. She highly recommended it.

"When the dove returned to [Noah] in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf!" Genesis 8:11. In my devo by Max Lucado, he talks about how that olive leaf was a symbol of hope. The dove, the messenger God used to bring that hope. It was a good challenge to be like that dove, a messenger of hope. God still provides olive leaves in many ways. I need to take more time to recognize those he's placed in my life.

Community vs. Independence

If you haven't seen the movie yet, it's worth it. The question I left with is: "What's more important, independence or community?" Is it possible to have both? I know I long for community yet live independently. There is great risk in allowing others into the core of my thoughts. Will there be acceptance or rejection? I believe community is important and the benefits outweigh the risks. . .most of the time. Yet those few times we are rejected make independence seem more appealing. Yet freedom comes with being open in a safe community. So the real question is: "how do we build safe community?" Thoughts. . .

I'm in my substance abuse class right now and we all have to give something up. I decided, reluctantly, to give up caffeine. There are many reasons that I can justify why coffee is good for me, yet it is something that has taken control over me. The fact that I am cranky and have a headache is a good sign that I need to give it up. Fortunately, I thought of it too late but the only thing worse for me would be chap stick! Ha! My lips are dry just for writing it down. Ask me how I feel about giving up caffeine in a few weeks and I'll let you know if the "detox" was worth it.

Community Vehicles

It's so good to have friends that trust you with their valuables. Having no car has been interesting as I sold Baxter three days ago. It's good to be done with him yet in the interim, friends (thanks M & J) have really looked out for me. Every time I look out my front window I am grateful for community. It's so wonderful to come home to a place where I trust roommates, can hand over keys and say, "take mine" with the understanding that care will be taken and call on a dime and say, "come pick me up"-thanks poppa C! I'm thankful that I have a few two wheeled modes of transportation as well as two legs that get me where I need to go. I am feeling extremely blessed!

Desiring what's lacking

I was out looking for changing aspen trees and came across this little evergreen that desired to be part of the changing movement by adapting aspen leaves of it's own. It reminds me of the many times I desire to acquire talents my friends possess. Like right now for instance as I dread writing a research paper that I feel very incompetent about and have a few friends who are gifted writers, editors and articulaters. I wish I could be "part of the changing movement" by adapting their gifts and write an amazing paper. I was not blessed with the 'book smart' gene, often baffled that I am in the middle of a graduate level program.

I must remember that it's not worth wishing my life away. The evergreen tree looks beautiful on its own. It is even a bit silly trying to take on the characteristics of the aspen tree. It wasn't meant to be an aspen. I may never be a writer or editor, yet it's as my friend L said, "You have friends that can help you out." She is right. As we all work together, it makes for a beautiful life. There is no need to "wish" because we are creating life. Yes, it is beautiful and. . .complex.

On your feet!

"On your feet now-applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence. Know this: God is God, and God, God. He made us; we didn't make him. We're his people, his well-tended sheep. Enter with the password: 'Thank you!' Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him. For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever." Psalm 100, The Message

I find much freedom in this passage. A friend recently asked me, "When was the last time you laughed heartily?" I think it was yesterday. How about you? I see that question as asking, "When was the last time your heart was so light that you could enjoy the moment you are in?" As we delight in God, we will thank him. Thank him for not judging us, placing a bunch of rules around us, making us with special talents that we can use together to serve Him, out of delight. Thank him for giving us a home to look forward to where we can be ourselves, surrounded with grace from God, others and ourselves.

Beginnings require endings

Beginnings can be wonderful things. I will actually move to Action Sports at REI come Monday. I will learn snowboards, boots, skis, shoes, car racks, Nordic equipment, watches, goggles, sunglasses, heart-rate monitors and. . .who knew there would be so much to learn, eh? Usually to begin one thing, something must end. In this situation it is the Soft goods department. As happy as I am to give up clothing and footwear consulting, I am sad to leave my boss and my teammates. At least now they will not have to listen to my jokes. :)

I thought I was heading into a new beginning with cars as well. Baxter is still with me and this process is taking a lot longer than I anticipated for sure. I am trying to be patient, yet most of you know this is not one of my defining positive characteristics. God has a lot to teach me for sure. So, instead I take a deep breathe, go for a hard bike ride and make a good dinner.

It's been a quiet evening, and needed. I have been reading my school book (which finally came yesterday afternoon). It is a Saturday night and it's one thing to choose not to go out with people vs. not being asked to go out. I realize my weekend schedule is pretty wild and hard for me to even keep track of, often I must remind myself of that. My friend said it well, "It always feels good to be chosen." I must agree. We all want to be thought of, desired to be around, and chosen. I think God has a strong lesson for me with few e-mails or phone calls- you are chosen, by me! I know I should find comfort in that but sometimes I truly think, "Yes, and you choose everyone! Therefore, I'm not a special pick." I know that fully brings out my selfishness, and ultimately, I am thankful to be serving an all-inclusive God. I really don't want anyone to be left out. I can have a new beginning as I end more selfish sin, die to self, and take on the character of Christ. This can happen only by God's gracious work in my broken life.

Changing Weeds

Here is a scenic view out our front window of our changing weeds. They too are actively participating in fall events. Somehow the only thing I am able to keep alive are the weeds. They really do not take much care. They do look beautiful. There's a great analogy right there that I'll let you think about. . .I'd love your comments! Sunday (1:00 PM) will be my next adventure of hiking to experience the changing leaves. If you want to come, let me know!

Two blogs in a row. . .I know, what's come over me? The truth, I was still on summer break during most of my last class, including purchasing my next textbook in the middle of it. Oops! It left OH yesterday according to the UPS tracking system. Hopefully tomorrow it will make it to Colorado Springs and I will be able to start reading it.

Seasonal Sensations

Coffee addicts: can you decipher what drink this is? :) It has something to do with the Fall Season and I love the spice. Each season has great flavors to offer, things to enjoy. I still need to cut back on my caffeine addiction. . .I don't drink regular coffee after noon to help promote good sleep hygiene! I have yet to enjoy Pumpkin Ice Cream.

Dental Floss and Repentance

I have the wonderful opportunity to go to the dentist today. Last night Jim Singleton was discussing repentance and how it is turning completely around from an action or way of doing something. He just came back from the dentist and they confronted him on flossing. He did not do it and the dentist showed him a picture of someones teeth/gums rotting away. Jim pulled out dental floss and said he had repented and is now flossing twice a day. I don't know if I will go to that extreme, yet I did floss last night in preparation for today's appointment. Why is it so hard to do what is best for us? Flossing takes a few minutes a day, yet I choose to do it once every six months. (Unless I eat corn on the cob, then it's a bit more.) Flossing is just one example of many I could mention. . .I will stick to dental floss for now.

Road Trip

My friend had a dream of owning a VW bus and here the beauty is! This was my view for an hour and a half as we drove from Limon back to Colorado Springs. It was beautiful to see "Old Lady" running after many months of sitting idle. It was if she was saying, "I'm ready for an adventure and will not fail!" It was a peaceful trip with no stories of breakdown.

We did make a stop to the gas station and I was in such a hurry to get to the restroom that it took a few minutes to realize that I chose the icon without the skirt. Oops! At least no one saw me. My confession rests here! :) What a great day for a road trip! The weather and company was phenomenal. I was even able to have a great talk with my lovely g'ma on the way home. Have you talked with your g'ma lately?

Fall and School

I was at the grocery store yesterday and a clerk reminded me that Sunday is the last day of Summer. The weather has already started the process as I observed leaves changing on my bike path. I love how each season has so much to offer. The same route can look so different depending on the month. I love God's creativity.

I sent out two e-mails for internship possibilities about a month and a half ago. Last night I heard from both of them, saying yes or it is a strong possibility. The wilderness therapy internship (for my clinical requirements) will need some flexibility from my advisor, so please pray! I am very excited!! There may also be another possibility in Utah that I became aware of last night as well.

Last night I joined a prayer group and it was a much different experience than I anticipated, in a great way! It was refreshing to be with people who love Jesus, are willing to be authentic, and come together to share with each other. I know this happens in many places, yet it hasn't been part of my community for some time. I was also able to re-connect with my invitee which was rejuvenating to talk about life, God and our brokenness without false pretenses.

I love how God can surprise us in many ways, sometimes in one day, other times in mere moments. How beautifully complex is this journey we call life!

Friendship and Grace

I am reading "Forever in Blue" by Ann Brashares. It's the fourth book of the Traveling Pants series. I know, it's a teen book-I want to work with youth so it's important for me to keep up on these things. The characters in the book give me the desire to reflect on my life. If someone were to write a book about my life, would it be interesting? Would people read it? I was reminded of the mix life brings through out each of our journeys, providing both good times and good stories. I am thankful that God has blessed me with good friends.

When I was in Austria with Krishana, some people were in the square with these signs that read, "Free Hugs", and they were just giving away hugs. What a fun concept. I think we are a bit deprived of affection and community conversation as we busy ourselves with daily living. I have a few friends who are good at living in the moment, being fully present. They are good examples and reminders of how I really want to live my life, now I need to choose it.

Carrots and Detox

A friend of mine told me that carrot juice is a great way to detox. I am learning to appreciate carrot juice. It is hard to find, surprisingly. Naked Juice does not make it, Odwalla is probably the sweetest, and R.W. Knudsen is OK. I think the detox factor may be compromised when extra fruits are added and yet, oh so much more tasty! Any thoughts on carrot juice?

The Dance

Today was my first day working for Vail and it was the first day Vail was open to work for. I was the only blue shirt on the "doing" end of the table. I felt God provided a beautiful dance for me all day. The ebb and flow of customers, attitudes and demands all moved beautifully through out the hours. The time flew by and customers left smiling.

My weekend schedule has also been a dance, yet not one as graceful as work. I am able to bend in ways that I was unable to a few weeks ago. I have had many great moments today and wonder what tomorrow God will bring my way. I had visits from out of town friends, I had unexpected time with a local favorite, and even managed to run a few earends inbetween. I saw pictures of my beautiful sister-in-law and brother enjoying each other on the dance floor and found out my brother got the job he's been wanting.

Today was a day of dance!

Baxter

Baxter is for sale. I know it is the "Colorado State Car" according to Peter B. and I am having trouble getting him sold. It may be due to the fact that I have only put for sale signs in the windows. It may take me putting a bit more effort into the process. It will happen, as it must and yet the miles this car has taken me lead to many fond memories. I thought this would be a car that would last me longer than three years (my going rate for car longevity) yet when my mechanic tells me to get him out of my life, I must listen. All good things must come to an end...

My first blog

Life is a beautifully complex adventure. There is a lot of beauty in accomplishing something that is so good for you, yet a difficult struggle through the process. I just finished my eight weekend stretch of classes. They were all challenging; some scholastically and others emotionally. Needless to say I have much processing to do. Instead I am experimenting with blogging and have nothing in me to write about. More later. . .