Creative uses for old things

Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. Like an old, worn-out canoe being turned into a rich place for plants to grow. It once floated students and staff all over Dog Lake and now, it sits allowing others to gaze upon its vibrant beauty. I feel a bit like the canoe. I have been working with students for years. Now, the package looks a bit different. I am in unfamiliar turf as my venue is the school, not the church. I keep repeating vs like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. . ." Right now I feel very vulnerable and at the same time know I am doing what I am passionate about. I need to not be longing for the exploration upon Dog Lake, just enjoying holding the beauty of flowers.

the view through new eyes

As a black and white thinker, this morning I was pondering the thought of seeing the world through new eye . . . gray. What possibilities would be open that I have yet to see. A good friend gave me a precious gift, in a book. Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. wrote a book called, "My Grandfather's Blessings". In it she states, "Most of us encounter a great deal more Mystery than we are willing to experience. Sometimes knowing life requires us to suspend disbelief, to recognize that all our hard-won knowledge may only be provisional and the world may be quite different than we believe it to be. This can be very stressful, even frightening. But if we are not willing to wonder, we may have to hang up the phone on life."



I wonder how much Mystery I have yet to discover due to my narrow vision. The possibilities may be frightful or beautiful. I enjoy pondering, wondering, question asking and self-exploration. All of these create a modge podge of anxiety and growth, creating the very essence of life. Oh the beauty in complexity continues. . .

Flying with broken wings

Tomorrow will be my last day of class (minus the two I need to make up this summer) and practicum has been a good and hard situation. I've learned more about myself than my clients. I've also discovered that I have a lot of internal work to do in order to be the best counselor I can be. It'll take time and I am a work in progress. That's expected with me being new, and I have great supervisors. (Thanks, L!) I've seen huge progress between last weekend and this weekend. I decided to quit beating myself up and start celebrating little successes. I feel like I am soaring with broken wings. I am choosing to just be in these moments instead of fretting over the future and what that looks like. I am learning how to be a good counselor.