Community vs. Independence

If you haven't seen the movie yet, it's worth it. The question I left with is: "What's more important, independence or community?" Is it possible to have both? I know I long for community yet live independently. There is great risk in allowing others into the core of my thoughts. Will there be acceptance or rejection? I believe community is important and the benefits outweigh the risks. . .most of the time. Yet those few times we are rejected make independence seem more appealing. Yet freedom comes with being open in a safe community. So the real question is: "how do we build safe community?" Thoughts. . .

I'm in my substance abuse class right now and we all have to give something up. I decided, reluctantly, to give up caffeine. There are many reasons that I can justify why coffee is good for me, yet it is something that has taken control over me. The fact that I am cranky and have a headache is a good sign that I need to give it up. Fortunately, I thought of it too late but the only thing worse for me would be chap stick! Ha! My lips are dry just for writing it down. Ask me how I feel about giving up caffeine in a few weeks and I'll let you know if the "detox" was worth it.

Community Vehicles

It's so good to have friends that trust you with their valuables. Having no car has been interesting as I sold Baxter three days ago. It's good to be done with him yet in the interim, friends (thanks M & J) have really looked out for me. Every time I look out my front window I am grateful for community. It's so wonderful to come home to a place where I trust roommates, can hand over keys and say, "take mine" with the understanding that care will be taken and call on a dime and say, "come pick me up"-thanks poppa C! I'm thankful that I have a few two wheeled modes of transportation as well as two legs that get me where I need to go. I am feeling extremely blessed!

Desiring what's lacking

I was out looking for changing aspen trees and came across this little evergreen that desired to be part of the changing movement by adapting aspen leaves of it's own. It reminds me of the many times I desire to acquire talents my friends possess. Like right now for instance as I dread writing a research paper that I feel very incompetent about and have a few friends who are gifted writers, editors and articulaters. I wish I could be "part of the changing movement" by adapting their gifts and write an amazing paper. I was not blessed with the 'book smart' gene, often baffled that I am in the middle of a graduate level program.

I must remember that it's not worth wishing my life away. The evergreen tree looks beautiful on its own. It is even a bit silly trying to take on the characteristics of the aspen tree. It wasn't meant to be an aspen. I may never be a writer or editor, yet it's as my friend L said, "You have friends that can help you out." She is right. As we all work together, it makes for a beautiful life. There is no need to "wish" because we are creating life. Yes, it is beautiful and. . .complex.

On your feet!

"On your feet now-applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence. Know this: God is God, and God, God. He made us; we didn't make him. We're his people, his well-tended sheep. Enter with the password: 'Thank you!' Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him. For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever." Psalm 100, The Message

I find much freedom in this passage. A friend recently asked me, "When was the last time you laughed heartily?" I think it was yesterday. How about you? I see that question as asking, "When was the last time your heart was so light that you could enjoy the moment you are in?" As we delight in God, we will thank him. Thank him for not judging us, placing a bunch of rules around us, making us with special talents that we can use together to serve Him, out of delight. Thank him for giving us a home to look forward to where we can be ourselves, surrounded with grace from God, others and ourselves.

Beginnings require endings

Beginnings can be wonderful things. I will actually move to Action Sports at REI come Monday. I will learn snowboards, boots, skis, shoes, car racks, Nordic equipment, watches, goggles, sunglasses, heart-rate monitors and. . .who knew there would be so much to learn, eh? Usually to begin one thing, something must end. In this situation it is the Soft goods department. As happy as I am to give up clothing and footwear consulting, I am sad to leave my boss and my teammates. At least now they will not have to listen to my jokes. :)

I thought I was heading into a new beginning with cars as well. Baxter is still with me and this process is taking a lot longer than I anticipated for sure. I am trying to be patient, yet most of you know this is not one of my defining positive characteristics. God has a lot to teach me for sure. So, instead I take a deep breathe, go for a hard bike ride and make a good dinner.

It's been a quiet evening, and needed. I have been reading my school book (which finally came yesterday afternoon). It is a Saturday night and it's one thing to choose not to go out with people vs. not being asked to go out. I realize my weekend schedule is pretty wild and hard for me to even keep track of, often I must remind myself of that. My friend said it well, "It always feels good to be chosen." I must agree. We all want to be thought of, desired to be around, and chosen. I think God has a strong lesson for me with few e-mails or phone calls- you are chosen, by me! I know I should find comfort in that but sometimes I truly think, "Yes, and you choose everyone! Therefore, I'm not a special pick." I know that fully brings out my selfishness, and ultimately, I am thankful to be serving an all-inclusive God. I really don't want anyone to be left out. I can have a new beginning as I end more selfish sin, die to self, and take on the character of Christ. This can happen only by God's gracious work in my broken life.

Changing Weeds

Here is a scenic view out our front window of our changing weeds. They too are actively participating in fall events. Somehow the only thing I am able to keep alive are the weeds. They really do not take much care. They do look beautiful. There's a great analogy right there that I'll let you think about. . .I'd love your comments! Sunday (1:00 PM) will be my next adventure of hiking to experience the changing leaves. If you want to come, let me know!

Two blogs in a row. . .I know, what's come over me? The truth, I was still on summer break during most of my last class, including purchasing my next textbook in the middle of it. Oops! It left OH yesterday according to the UPS tracking system. Hopefully tomorrow it will make it to Colorado Springs and I will be able to start reading it.

Seasonal Sensations

Coffee addicts: can you decipher what drink this is? :) It has something to do with the Fall Season and I love the spice. Each season has great flavors to offer, things to enjoy. I still need to cut back on my caffeine addiction. . .I don't drink regular coffee after noon to help promote good sleep hygiene! I have yet to enjoy Pumpkin Ice Cream.